Notes on Dining Alone

Quiet Observations from a Café Window

I'm sitting in a quiet corner of a trendy organic cafe in the heart of another quaint downtown. Ladies are lunching with babies in their arms and shopping bags at their feet. Personally, I'm drowning my sorrows in my vegan raw lemon and gluten-free cheesecake after an unsatisfying fig and arugula salad. I can't say the cheesecake is a great encore, but it's pleasing to my sweet tooth.

California is everything I imagined: relaxed, sunny, and laid back. I'm not a West Coast girl, so exploring feels like a field study. I'm still in watching and observing mode. As I walked around this downtown area, scenes of Nancy Meyers and Nora Ephram films come to mind. I sit at a table for one, enjoying the tasteful French and Brazilian tunes serenading me, while a barrage of idle gossip conversation about wives splitting up with their husbands (consequently remarrying younger versions of themselves) interrupts my digestion. Men in middle age are so predictable!

Honestly, I'm not a snoop, but these tables are close to each other and the gossip to too good to ignore. It's hard not to eavesdrop and listen. Sadly, this scenario isn't necessarily unique to the West Coast, but it reminds me how we are the same: fragile, flawed, and human. It's sad and entertaining to overhear their stories as I stare through the windows and enjoy the interiors of this restaurant.

I know that I need to stop being a fly on the wall. I haven't exactly reached out to meet new people, nor do I see myself doing so. We will be living in the Bay Area for just under a year. I'm finding it easier to do things alone and enjoy it. I like doing things on my terms. But being introverted can be lonely. What's keeping me from being a complete recluse is frequenting here, an independently owned cafe & community workspace, and my local Starbucks for occasional small talk. It's satisfying the extrovert in me and makes me a happier mom at the pickup line.

I'm learning that part of growing up and maturing is giving yourself the permission to do things you haven't or wouldn't do. Eating alone is a good example. I'm starting to get good at it. I dine alone frequently in the mornings or for lunch, usually toting a Kindle, tablet, or real hardcover to pass the time. A book with an eye-catching title usually strikes up a conversation. I like to use this time away from the house to organize my thoughts and day. Inevitably, if I'm home, the overwhelming desire to do housework will take over my day. But I need more, so I give myself permission to take care of me and enjoy myself.

Happy dining!